I wonder what dreams we wrestle with in the dark when the rest of the world has gone away. I hope they are big, almost impossible. My dream has been to write and publish my work. Do you have any dreams like that? Big, huge, dreams so large you feel small in front of them. I happen to believe those dreams are worth chasing, we may fail . However, I would rather fail on my path than succeed on someone elses.
It isn’t always easy to chase dreams like that. This last week I was up and down so much it was ridiculous. I know there will be worse weeks and thats ok.
What was it you wanted to do wjen you were younger and the world stretched out before you full of possibility? I used to believe I couldn’t achieve that. It was there for someone smarter, cooler, more in tune with the world. Just think how many times we watch someone do big things and make excuses for ourselves. I can’t act, can’t sing, can’t write, or maybe there are no stories inside of me. All of those people doing the things you want to do had to start somewhere. Lets start somewhere too. Who knows, maybe tomorrow people will be looking at us and saying ,”I could never do that.”
The first step is realizing that we are more than our dreams…. I think, as for the rest, I am working on that.
When I was in my early twenties I let a friend read some of my poetry. It must have been 50 sheets of dot matrix printed material,and looking back I seriously doubt it was any good. It wasn’t the quality of the work that bothered me though, it was an idea he presented as commentary. The idea was something he had read, I disagreed with it , yet it stuck with me because I did not understand why I disagreed with it.
Apparently he had read somewhere that writing about the darker side of our existence gave power to negative constructs. That writing about the darkness also empowered it. This stopped me for a time , 18 years later I can finally answer this question.
When we travel through pain, loss, and the uglier side of life we are most often alone in our skins with no idea how to get through.
“What connects you with art of any kind?”
For me that connection is about being able to relate to what is being expressed. Maybe I have been through it , or maybe just a friend but there is a connection there that makes it personal. Being able to hear a song and know that at some point in time someone else felt exactly as you do right now is powerful, motivational, and maybe just inspiring enough to keep us pushing through the darkness so that we can make it back into the light.
I write about lonliness and doubt and longing because somewhere someone needs to know they aren’t alone, and in those moments so do I.
This question has power that can be absolutely devastating depending on how we choose to answer it. My first reaction to this question is to retreat. To be quiet and try and listen to other people. My first reaction is flawed because it is based on a flawed idea of what we should be before our words and thoughts have value.
So where are we flawed in how we look at the world? If you are anything like me in this then we have a tendency to look at other people and assume that they are the experts and that we should leave the talking to them. Think about seeing artists, actors, or musicians and tell me how many times you see them and think,”I can do that.” I know that even typing this out scares me. I don’t know what I am doing , but I think we need more people that don’t know exactly what they are doing involved in all aspects of art and creation. New voices and new points of view are vital to keeping anything currebt and vibrant. As a culture or society we spend to much time observing others and convincing ourselves that grand accomplishments are out of our reach. Everyone started somewhere, we shouldn’t put our dreams aside for another moment.
So why speak without being an expert? For me , I want to document the journey. I want to share this because I sincerely believe that others can benefit from seeing someone who isn’t an expert talk about what it takes to chase success. So lets chase this together. Whatever your dreams are, lets find a place to start and take it one day and one step at a time. Before long we will all be where we need to be , where we were born to be. All that we have to do is sieze the opportunity.